Wednesday, May 02, 2007
as i was sitting on bus 61 on my way home tonight,
i thought about how wonderful my life has been.
how i had the most productive meeting yesterday during labour's day.
and how i am so lucky to be part of an efficient and effective committee.
i got home, closed the door behind me and found sitting on chair a letter addressed to me.
"Melissa John" it read clearly, with the handwriting of a 5 year old kid.
this, was also what killed me for an hour.
what stole all rationalism i had in me away.
excited i was in opening it,
i tore it up.
slowly, i read the contents.
and then i threw the letter far far away from me, like it was a bug.
i got to admit,
that i've never felt so afraid in my whole entire life.
mind went blank, literally.
now i know how that feels.
and my heart,
it stopped there and then.
i thought this kinda thing only happens on TV, no?
daddy, i need you right now.
because my mind is in a total state of..
god knows what.
yet i know you'll know what exactly to do.
because you always do.
i really really really wish you'll be here right now, at this moment to be with me.
mummy, im sorry that i have to keep you in the dark first.
you know i really hate to do this to you,
esp when i know how hurting it is to be the last to know.
but i also do not want to hurt you now, i just dont know what i should do.
please do not be worried, i just want to see you smile.
ka, there's nothing much i can say but i love you.
i really do.
the moment you moved out to stay,
i felt very lonely here.
days when i came home alone, with no one else in the house.
and i'll be thinking, where's my sister?
i miss our little talks, i miss sharing my whole entire life with you.
my beloved sister.
whatever you decide, you're the only sister i'll have this life
and i am going to love you like crazy.
now though, the people i can and want to share with aint here.
so i guess it's me and me alone for tonight.
until tmr when i can literally burst everything to daddy.
im scared, yes.
but i'll get through i know.
Merser
